FRANK ZAPPA : ‘DON’T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW’ SUITE [1974]

Ακούμε την τετραμερή σουίτα ‘Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow’ από το ‘70s άλμπουμ του Frank Zappa Apostrophe / We hear the four-part suite ‘Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow’ from ‘70s Frank Zappa album Apostrophe.

00:00 Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow
02:08 Nanook Rubs It
06:45 St. Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast
08:36 Father O’ Blivion

Dreamed I was an eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero…
And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
Don’t be a naughty eskimo
Save your money, don’t go to the show
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said ho, ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go,
And don’t you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go,
And don’t you eat that yellow snow

Well right about that time, people,
A fur trapper
Who was strictly from commercial
(Strictly Commershil)
Had the unmedicated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo
(Peek-a-Boo Woo-ooo-ooo)
And he started in to whippin’ on my fav’rite baby seal
With a lead-filled snow shoe…
I said:
With a lead
Lead
Filled
Lead-filled
A lead-filled snow shoe
Snow shoe
He said Peak-a-boo
Peek-a-boo
With a lead
Lead
Filled
Lead-filled
With a lead-filled snow shoe
SNOW SHOE
He said Peak-a-boo.
Peek-a-boo
He went right up side the head of my favorite baby seal
He went whap!
With a lead-filled snow shoe
An’ he hit him on the nose ‘n he hit him on the fin ‘n he…
That got me just about as evil
As an Eskimo boy can be… so I bent down ‘n I reached down ‘n I scooped down
An’ I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly…
Yellow snow
The deadly Yellow Snow from right there where the huskies go
Whereupon I proceeded to take that mitten full
Of the deadly Yellow Snow Crystals
And rub it all into his beady little eyes
With a vigorous circular motion
Hitherto unknown to the people on this area,
But destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK
In your mythology
Here it goes now…
The circular motion… (rub it)…
(Here Fido… Here Fido)
And then, in a fit of anger, I…
I pounced
And I pounced again
Great googly-moogly
I jumped up ‘n down on the chest of the…
I injured the fur trapper
Well, he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so
Because
The deadly Yellow Snow Crystals
Had deprived him of his sight
And he stood up
And he looked around
And he said:
I can’t see
(Do… Do do-do do do do… Yeah!)
I can’t see
(Do… Do do-do do do do… Yeah!)
Oh woe is me
(Do… Do do-do do do do… Yeah!)
I can’t see
(Do… Do do-do do do do… Well!)
No no
I can’t see
No… I…
He took a dog-doo sno-cone
An’ stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo sno-cone
An’ stuffed it in my other eye
An’ the huskie wee-wee,
I mean the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
An’ I can’t see
Temporarily
Well the fur trapper
Stood there
With his arms outstretched
Across the frozen white wasteland
Trying to figure out what he’s gonna do
About his deflicted eyes
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered
An ancient Eskimo legend
Wherein it is written
On whatever it is that they write it on up there
That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As a result of some sort of conflict
With anyone named Nanook
The only way you can get it fixed up
Is to go trudgin’ across the tundra…
Mile after mile
Trudgin’ across the tundra…
Right down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo…

Yes indeed, here we are!
At Saint Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast
Where I stole the mar-juh-reen
An’ widdled on the Bingo Cards in lieu of the latrine
I saw a handsome parish lady
Make her entrance like a queen
Why she was totally chenille
And her old man was a Marine
As she abused a sausage pattie
And said why don’t you treat me mean?
(Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, ooh)
At Saint Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast
(Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!)
Where I stole the mar-juh-reen
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Oo-oo-wah

Father Vyvian O’Blivion
Resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter
For the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary
He forgot to watch the clock
But the night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked it
But the night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had slowly stroked it
He slowly stroked it
But the night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked his spot
He stroked his spot
It set him off in such a frenzy
He sang “Lock Around the Crock!”
And he topped it off with a
And he topped it off with a
And he topped it off with a
As he stumbled on his
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right through his sock
“Oh St. Alfonzo would be proud of me”
He shouted down the block
Domine vobiscum
Et cum spiritu tuo
Don’t you eat my sleazy pancakes
Just for Saintly Alphonzo
They’re so light and fluffy white
We’ll raise a fortune by tonight
They’re so light and fluffy white
We’ll raise a fortune by tonight
They’re so light and fluffy brown
They’re the finest in the town
They’re so light and fluffy brown
They’re the finest in the town
Good morning your highness
Oo oo ooo
Good gosh, you’re sumptuous
Oo oo ooo
Good morning your highness
Oo oo ooo
Good gosh, you’re sumptuous
Oo oo ooo


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5 Comments

  1. Liz Gauffreau February 7, 2023 at 1:31 am

    Classic Zappa! What a delight to hear it again. My brother just about wore out the album listening to it.

    Reply
    1. Oannes February 7, 2023 at 11:47 am

      It’s been ages since the last time I heard it myself. Classic indeed, like [almost] everything the great man did in the ’60s and ’70s!

      Reply
  2. Resa February 8, 2023 at 10:04 pm

    That went by too, fast.
    My gut heaved when I heard Zappa’s voice. Boy, do I miss him. Thank you for this!

    Reply
    1. Oannes February 9, 2023 at 9:17 pm

      I too love FZ’s voice, either he’s singing or speaking.

      Reply
      1. Resa February 9, 2023 at 9:19 pm

        No one sounds like him.

        Reply

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